First off, I'd just like to everyone a word of advice:
1. If you’re feeling frisky, and you start humping nearby objects, make sure you know what you’re rubbing up against. Say the table has a sharp corner, you’d probably want to avoid that. Also, If you’re alone in an elevator (and humping the air) make sure to stop BEFORE the doors open.
2. Another thing, to all those people who use LOL:
I know you’re not actually laughing out loud every time that you type in lol. Its so overused and now it has basically no meaning. As long as I make an attempt at [bad] humor I’ll still get a lol. And then when I actually have something funny, I won’t be able to distinguish it from the crap. It’s highly counterproductive. Use ROFL when you actually think something is funny, thanks.
3. How many of you have ever had blueberry blintzes? They are orgasmic. It’s what the sky would taste like if it was cooked. (get it, because its blue)
4. If you have are on a porn site in your other browser window, please exit this one, go back to your happy time, and get it over with. Then you can come (don’t get any on the keyboard!) here.
5. Guns don’t kill people, death kills people.
The Grim Reaper needs a raise.
6. Me: Have you ever pictured Santa Claus getting head from one of the elves in his workshops?
You: You too?
Me: Holy Fuck you have?
…Shit now even I’m a little freaked out
You: Can I call you back?
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